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by Dean Cortez, creator of the How To Be A Bad Boy System

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Hey Dean,

My friends tell me my biggest obstacle with girls is that I’m “too nice.” I have lots of female friends, but therein lies the challenge: they think of me only as a friend.

There was one girl in particular who I had grown very close to. I met her on an Internet dating site and we started hanging out almost every day. I was pretty sure it was heading towards a real relationship, but then her ex-boyfriend came barging in and messed everything up. He’d moved out of town for a while, but then he came back, and he started calling her and trying to get back with her.

She had told me about this dude. He’d treated her like crap, slept with other girls, did drugs, and was always broke. (He a wanna-be rock star, with lots of tattoos and the whole “Criss Angel” goth look.)

Well, even though she used to always tell me sob stories about how awful he was, guess what happened — she got back together with him!

It always seems like the guys who are “nice” and “sweet” get screwed over, while the “bad boys” get all the hot girls. Girls can’t resist them! Am I doomed to keep losing out to the jerks?  

I need to get a handle on my dating life. I saw you speak at a seminar once, and you said how this is a “process of development”. But how can I speed things up?

- Richard, New Jersey

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Dean Cortez from MackTactics.com replies:

Richard, you hit the nail on the head when you referred to this as a “process of development.” It is an ongoing mission. There are no magic solutions that are going to transform you into a cocky, confident, smooth “ladies’ man” overnight.

If you believe that there is “system” that WILL make you an invincible stud in 24 hours, then I’ve got some beachfront property in Iraq I want to sell you…

But seriously, making the decision to handle your dating life is like starting an exercise program. You’re not going to look like some jacked-up UFC fighter after only a few trips to the gym.

It’s a process, and mastering the physical part (how to do each exercise properly) is equally important as the mental part (committing yourself to making lasting, long-term improvements).

Your question, basically, is why women are so deeply attracted to “bad boys” — and you’re wondering if you can make some adjustments to your OWN game to make women feel deeper attraction to YOU.  

The #1 quality of Bad Boys, that women go for, is their massive sense of self-confidence. It often crosses the line into “arrogance,” but y’know what? Women will instinctually feel attraction towards it. They can’t help feeling attracted to men who exude that cocky confidence — men who are totally IN CONTROL of their own reality and don’t seem to care what other people think.  

I used to buy a lot of books on dating and personal improvement, and they all basically said the same thing: “You’ve got to be more confident.” “Women are totally into guys who are confident.”

Blah blah…

Duh! That’s completely friggin’ OBVIOUS. But how do you actually get that “Bad Boy Confidence” around women, and stop being the nice guy who finished last?

It’s like telling a short guy, “Be taller. Then you’ll get more women.”

Or telling a skinny guy, “You should be a big, muscular hunk. Chicks dig that.”

Um, yeah, OK…but how the heck is that realistically possible?!

Bulletproof confidence IS possible for you to develop. But the so-called “pickup artist” experts aren’t able to offer practical advice about it. Let me take care of that right now.

CONFIDENCE IS BUILT THROUGH SUCCESS, AND SUCCESS IS BUILT THROUGH SKILL.

It’s a three-step process:

1. Learn the tactics and skills you need to talk to women.

2. You’ll stop feeling nervous and anxious around women.

3. The more success you have with girls — even if it’s a short conversation and getting her email address — the better you feel.

Does that sound simple? Actually, yeah, it is.

When you learn the lessons in the Bad Boy Seduction program, you’ll be able to add that confident “edge” without ever being a jerk. No matter what your background is, or what you do for a living, you can start leading a more attractive, exciting bad boy lifestyle.

You’ll find it much easier to approach women and flirt with them, on YOUR terms. (Instead of feeling the need to please or impress women.)

As a result, you’ll have more positive interactions with women. Instead of blowing you off, or never returning your phone calls, you’re going to start meeting new women on a regular basis. 

Walking up to a pretty girl at the gym, or the book store, or the coffee shop, is easy. You know how to “open” the conversation and how to engage her attention.

Women don’t look at you as a weird, creepy dude who is trying to hit on them. They see you as a cool, interesting guy with a playful, cocky “edge” – and they are curious to know more.  

This is going to make you feel good, and your confidence level will rise. You start to realize that approaching beautiful women — or dating two or three girls at the same time!! — is NOT impossible. It’s not this scary, painful thing. You’ll find that this is really a lot of fun!

But you’ve got to learn to walk before you run. I want you to build up your confidence in small increments. If you only measure “success” in terms of nailing hot chicks, or landing your “dream girlfriend,” you’re probably going to keep feeling frustrated and disappointed.

You can make progress tonight, or tomorrow…whenever you leave your house with a  social attitude. And I’m not just talking about going to “social environments” like bars and nightclubs. Yesterday, I went to my local computer store to check out some laptops, and left with a REALLY cute girl’s email address.

I didn’t even get her phone number. Just her email address. That’s all I needed. We chatted on the internet for a little while last night, and tomorrow we’re going to meet up.

So over the next week, I want you to make this a goal: you’re going to meet three new women and get their email addresses.

NOT their phone numbers. You only need to get email!

AND, you’re not going to try to “trap” girls into talking to your for 20 or 30 minutes.

YOU will be the one to end the conversation first!

This is important, so listen up…

See, the average guy thinks a conversation is a “success” if he can keep the girl talking for a long period of time. He’ll meet a girl and tell her his entire life story in the first half-hour!

As long as she isn’t blowing him off, and she’s answering his questions, he thinks he’s making progress.

Actually, she’s probably getting a bit BORED of this guy, but she’s too polite to walk away…

I want you to take the opposite approach. Over the next seven days, I want you to start conversations with girls knowing that you will only spend five minutes chatting with her. Then you will get her email address, go on your way, and email her the following day.

Talk to girls using the techniques that we lay out in our Bad Boy Seduction book and DVD program, and after 5 minutes, tell her, “Well it was nice meeting you, I can tell we’ve got some things to talk about. (Or, “I get the sense that we have a ton of things in common.”)  I have to go now…hey, do you have email?”

Notice how I phrased it. (The way you phrase the things you say is extremely important — I explain it all in the M.A.C.K. Tactics book.)

I didn’t say, “Can I get your email address?”

I didn’t say, “Do you mind if I email you sometime?”

I didn’t say, “How can I contact you?”

Instead, I said: “Do you have email?”

Of course she has email! Everyone does. She’ll say “yes,” and now you’re going to take our your little notebook and pen (you should ALWAYS carry these two items) and hand them to her. Say, “write it down for me.”

BOOM. Done deal.

See, when you ask a girl for PERMISSION, this gives her the opportunity to say “no.”

If you ask her, “Can I get your phone number?”, she might think of the NEGATIVE possibilities. (Maybe this guy is going to call me all the time and annoy me…or, maybe he’s going to call me and ask me out on a date, and then it will be awkward for me, because I’m not sure about him yet…)

But when you simply say to her, “Do you have email?”, and give her the paper and pen, she probably won’t think twice about it. She will write down her email for you, and you’ll contact her the next day!

Are you with me?

Do this two or three times over the next week, and I guarantee you are going to feel a confidence boost like you haven’t felt in a LONG time.

And if you go to bars or clubs, stop taking an “all or nothing” view: “I’ve got to hook up with a girl TONIGHT, or else I’m a pussy and I’m wasting my time and money and how come all the girls are so stuck-up…”

Just have short, fun conversations – using the methods we explain and get her email address and move on. You might meet an even cuter girl five minutes later!

For now, I want you to enjoy a few short, fun conversations with women…no pressure, no big expectations…and go home with some email addresses. You can turn those into dates, and the whole time you are REPROGRAMMING yourself for success.

In the past, when you were talking to an attractive girl, you were probably thinking “where do I take it from here? What am I supposed to say to her next? How do I avoid being boring and lame?”

NOW you’re thinking, “I’m only going to give this girl five minutes of my time, and I’ll contact her on email tomorrow if I decide I want to take it further. This is a normal part of my lifestyle, it’s no big thing.”

Start having lots of these “mini-conversations” in which YOU are the busy guy who needs to go. Leave her wanting to know more. I know you’re going to love how this makes you feel.

If you are starting out on this journey to get better with women, the first step is to get out there and have a lot of short, positive conversations. Your confidence level will rise. Some of those email addresses are going to lead to dates, and each successful date is going to boost your confidence level.

Then, using the techniques in the Bad Boy Seduction Program, you’ll know exactly how to make these women feel “massive attraction” towards you. You won’t get stuck in the “Friend Zone” any more. Girls are going to view you as a confident, masculine, interesting dude.

Good luck out there, and most importantly, HAVE FUN. You really aren’t risking anything, and you’ve got endless possibilities in front of you.

Your Wingman,

Dean Cortez

MackTactics.com

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