How To Be Massively Confident With Women
by Dean Cortez, MackTactics
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Hey Dean,
I purchased your programs, Mack Tactics and the Bad Boy Blue Print, and both are fantastic. They’re packed with powerful conversational tricks and tips. (I found the “Conversation Control” and “Negotiations” chapters to be especially helpful.)
To be very frank with you, I was basically an introvert, and after learning your material I have a new understanding of what Attraction is and how it works. I have started making new “alliances,” as you explain how to do, and I’m approaching more women and expanding my Comfort Zone.
I’ve learned many great strategies for how to meet single girls, but in this process of development I have a question for you. I am still unable to get the bigger picture of life. I’m still not feeling like a truly confident “Mack”. Simply put, I understand how to talk to women now…but how can I feel like I can “back it up?”
I want strong Inner game because only that will lead to success in the long run. Please help me out with this.
Thanks for everything,
- Richard
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Dean Cortez replies:
Richard, you hit the nail on the head when you referred to this as a “process of development.” It is a mission that never ends. Sorry, but there aren’t any “magic bullets” that are going to transform you into a super-confident “ladies’ man” overnight.
The same way that when you decide to get in better physical shape, you’re not going to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime after three workout sessions in your basement.
The most important thing my Mack Tactics program does is give you a rock-solid FOUNDATION so that you can start meeting more women, pick up on girls, and start dating them with more style, originality, and confidence.
So your question, basically, is how can you start feeling more confident. I’d like to discuss this with you for a minute.
There are a lot of corny books full of dating advice, and they all basically say the same thing: “Be confident.” “Women really dig confident guys.” Blah blah…
Duh! That’s completely OBVIOUS. But the big question is, how do you actually get more confident with women, and get rid of your shyness or anxiety?
It’s like telling a short guy, “Be taller. Then you will have much more success with women.”
Or telling a skinny guy, “Be a big, muscular hunk. That is the big secret.”
Uh, yeah, OK…but how the heck is that realistically possible?!
Here’s how it works. CONFIDENCE IS BUILT THROUGH SUCCESS, AND SUCCESS IS BUILT THROUGH SKILL.
It’s a three-step process:
- Learn the tactics and skills you need to talk to women.
- As a result, you start being more successful with women.
- The more “victories” you score with women, the higher your confidence rises.
Your confidence level will shoot up as you keep getting more skilled with women. You begin to understand that walking up to hot women, or dating a few different simultaneously, is totally possible. If you want to go out and pick up girls in bars, it’s not a scary thing that causes anxiety. It’s something you actually look forward to doing!
But you’ve got to learn to walk before you run. I want you to build up your confidence in small increments. If you only measure “success” by how many beautiful women you sleep with, you’re going to keep feeling frustrated and disappointed in yourself.
So over the next week, I want you to make this a goal: you’re going to meet three new women and get their email addresses.
NOT their phone numbers. Just get her email address!
AND, you’re not going to try to “trap” girls into talking to your for 20 or 30 minutes.
YOU will be the one to end the conversation first!
See, the average guy thinks a conversation is a “success” if he can keep the girl talking for a long period of time. He’ll meet a girl at a bar and tell her his entire life story in the first half-hour! As long as the girl isn’t telling him to get lost, he thinks he’s making headway.
Actually, she’s probably getting awfully bored of this guy, but she’s too polite to walk away…
I want you to take the opposite approach. Have this attitude as you head into conversations: you’re probably only going to give each girl 5 minutes of your time. Then, you’re going to get her email address, move on, and contact her the next day.
Talk to girls using the techniques laid out in the M.A.C.K. Tactics books and video courses, and after chatting for 5 minutes or so, say to her, “It was great meeting you, I can tell we’ve got lots to talk about. Or, “It seems like you and I have a lot of things in common.”) “Hey, before I go, do you have an email address?”
Notice how I phrased it. (PHRASING – choosing your words strategically – is a big part of being successful with women, and it’s all explained in the M.A.C.K. Tactics book.)
I didn’t say, “Can I get your email address?”
I didn’t say, “Do you mind if I email you sometime?”
Instead, I said: “Do you have email?”
Of course she has email! Everyone does. She’ll say “sure,” and you’re going to pull out your pen and notebook — which you should always carry — and hand them to her. Say, “write it down for me.”
See, when you ask a girl for PERMISSION, this gives her the opportunity to say “no.”
If you ask her, “Can I get your phone number?”, she might think of the NEGATIVE possibilities. (Maybe this guy is going to call me all the time and annoy me…)
But when you simply say to her, “Do you have email?”, and hand her the pen and paper, she won’t think it’s any big deal. She writes down her email address for you, and then you’ll head out and contact her tomorrow.
Are you with me?
Do this two or three times over the next week, and I guarantee you are going to feel a confidence boost like you haven’t felt in a LONG time.
If you go to bars or clubs, don’t take an “all or nothing” view: “I’ve got to hook up with a girl TONIGHT, or else this is a waste of time, and I suck.”
For now, I want you to enjoy a few short, fun conversations with women using your Mack Tactics… no pressure, no big expectations… and go home with some email addresses. You can translate them into dates.
And in the meantime, you are REPROGRAMMING yourself for success.
In the past, when you were talking to an attractive girl, you were probably thinking “where do I take it from here? What the heck should I ask her about next? How can I make sure women don’t see me as boring?”
NOW you’re thinking, “I’m only going to give this girl five minutes of my time, and I’ll contact her on email tomorrow if I decide I want to take it further. I do this frequently, and it isn’t any big deal.”
Start having lots of these “mini-conversations” in which YOU are the busy guy who needs to go. You want to leave her feeling curious to know more about you. I know you’ll be thrilled with the results, and how this makes you feel.
Go Tactical!
Your Wingman,
Dean Cortez
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