Do Women Really Love A Sense Of Humor?
by Dean Cortez, founder of M.A.C.K. Tactics
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Dean, I was having drinks recently with a group of girls and we started talking about relationships. I asked them, “What is the #1 most attractive quality you look for in a guy?” They all agreed that a “sense of humor” is the biggest thing.
Is this really true, or are they just trying to make us think they’re not shallow? In reality, won’t the handsome guy always have the edge over the funny guy?
-Brad, New York City
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Hey, Dean Cortez here. It’s true that when asked about the “#1 most attractive quality,” most women will give the “sense of humor” answer. Why do women seem to put so much importance on whether a guy is funny or not? Will a sense of humor really get them attracted?
Well, no. Not actually. I’ve known guys who were hilariously funny, but when it came to women they couldn’t get laid in a Tijuana brothel with a fistful of money. So how much do women really value this quality?
The truth is that women value the qualities that a sense of humor implies. When women picture a guy with a healthy, easygoing sense of humor, they think of someone who doesn’t take himself too seriously; who is at ease in social situations; who has interesting things to say beyond the usual clichés (“So where are from?”, “What do you do for fun?” etc); and who enjoys good conversation. They could care less about a guy who knows a bunch of jokes and acts like a goofball at parties.
Having a sense of humor, and using it subtly, is important for getting her into a relaxed mindset. It’s part of the process of learning how to romance a girl. It will get you in the door and inject positive momentum into the conversation. But it’s not the quality that is going to trigger her “attraction switches. Once you’ve got her in that relaxed mind frame, you’ve got to take the reigns and keep moving the conversation in that direction.
Is telling a gut-busting joke going to convince a woman to jump into bed with you? Never. Is she looking to date the funniest guy in the room, who’s constantly firing off hilarious one-liners? No. Men who try to keep things light and funny at all times are trying to cover up their inability to “get real” and create deep, interesting conversation.
When you use humor correctly (being witty and sharp is the goal, not “funny”), another benefit is that it masks your intentions, whatever your goal with her may be. You don’t need to know romantic conversation starters. Remember this: we naturally feel uncomfortable when we know (or just sense) that a person wants something from us. (This is why I can’t stand going to car dealerships; the damn salesmen come at you the moment you step onto the lot.)
In most instances when an attractive girl is approached by a guy, she immediately sense that he wants something (to buy her a drink, get her phone number, arrange a date, etc.) and her “force field” goes on high alert. Then, when he opens the conversation in a cliché way, she knows he’s just trying to get something from her, and she tunes out.
On the other hand, starting things off on a light, witty note will help lower her shield. But it won’t neutralize it. To do that, you’ll have to use conversational techniques such as Teases and Qualifiers to keep things moving in the right direction. The Mack Tactics book is filled with these techniques, and you’ll find that you can get a girlfriend very easily when you use them.
Your Wingman,
Dean Cortez
MackTactics.com
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