Dealing With A Woman’s Ex Boyfriend
By Dean Cortez, MackTactics.com
* * * * *
Hi Dean,
I’ve read your books, watched your instructional ideas, and learned some amazing stratgies for how to pick up a hot girl. And your advice was amazing — I met a really cool girl at my local coffee shop and we’ve been dating. The only problem is her chump ex-boyfriend, who’s still obsessed with her and keeps trying to get back with her. She says it’s over between them, but sometimes when we’re together he calls her and starts saying he can’t live without her, he just wants one more chance, blah blah, and then she gets all upset and emotional and it ruins our evening. I remind her why they broke up in the first place: her ex boyfriend is a creep who cheated on her! So why is she still talking to him? And how do I get him out of the picture?
Jason
Miami, FL
* * * * *
Dean Cortez here with some special dating tactics for this situation…
Remember that as a Mack, you’ve always got to project strength and security to women. This means being firm and decisive whenever she is experiencing conflicting emotions. (Which, due to the delicate emotional nature of women, is bound to happen on a regular basis.)
She looks to you to provide this strength. In fact, women will frequently TEST you to see if you’re “man” enough to show this strength.Otherwise, she is not going to feel comfortable and secure with you and her attraction level will cool off.
This is important test, which you must handle the right way. How you react is going to determine whether her attraction towards you grows deeper, or whether she feels you’re emotionally weak. (And believe me, every time she blabs to her ex on the phone while you’re sitting there twiddling your thumbs, it makes you look really weak.)
Weakness in the presence of women comes in many forms. One of the most common is the inability to be decisive, as demonstrated in the following phone conversation…
HIM: I was thinking if you’re free tonight, maybe we could do something…
HER: Well what exactly do you have in mind?
HIM: I don’t know. Maybe go and see and movie?
HER: Are there any good movies playing?
HIM: I could check…what kinds of movies are you into?
HER: I love scary movies. What about you?
HIM: Um, scary movies, action, comedies, whatever. I know there’s this new movie with Eddie Murphy…
HER: Oh yeah, I saw the commercial. It looks kinda stupid.
HIM: Yeah, I thought the same thing.
HER: I’m kind of hungry, do you want to go get something to eat?
HIM: Sure. Where do you want to go?
HER: What kind of food is your favorite?
HIM: All kinds. What do you like?
This could go back-and-forth for twenty minutes without any decisions being made. Does this sound to you like a MAN who is going to make a woman feel secure and protected? Being indecisive about picking a restaurant or a movie might seem minor. But when a woman is evaluating you as a potential mate, she needs to know that you are capable of making decisions and leading the way.
The Mack would have the plan worked out before he calls:
HIM: So, Amanda, you mentioned you don’t have work on Friday night. I’m going to take you to this cool little restaurant that you’re going to love, and then we’re going to see a movie that is supposed to be amazing. I’ll be at your place at eight o’clock, we’re going to have a great time.
HER: Sounds great, see you then.
In your situation, Jason, it’s important to be decisive about her ex-boyfriend drama. If she’s taking phone calls from him while she’s out with you, then obviously she still has feelings for the guy that she needs to work out. Don’t try to make her “choose,” and don’t make disparaging remarks about her ex because this might cause her to start defending him. Don’t get engulfed in the drama; rise above it.
HER: My ex keeps calling me. I really feel guilty about breaking up with him. I’m not sure what to do.
YOU: Y’know what Amanda? I think you should talk to him tomorrow, when we’re not together, and work that situation out because I know you’re ready to move on. Take some time with it if you need to. I’ll be here for you if you need me, but just let me know when you’ve worked it all out.
This response shows confidence. You’re not acting worried about losing her. If she does go back to that wimp, you know she’s not the kind of girl you should be with anyway. What makes the average guy stress out in this situation is his scarcity mentality: he fears he’s going to lose her and will jump through hoops to hang on.
The confident man, on the other hand, maintains a mentality of abundance. This guy knows there is no short supply of attractive, drama-free girls who will respect him and his time. He lays the cards on the table — she’s either going to get her ex-boyfriend drama sorted out, or he is going to move on.
Be decisive and certain about your world. Women are bound to get emotional and anxious at times, and when they go into that state, demonstrating firmess and certainty is what will bond them to you.
If you want to take your skills and confidence with women to a higher level, and become the super-attractive man that women want, visit MackTactics.com for the best dating advice and more than 101 high-powered strategies and techniques for getting the women you want and deserve.
Your Wingman,
Dean Cortez
No related posts.